There are always going to be sunny days and grey days because life tends to often feel like a rollercoaster ride and if not quite so extreme, it’s certainly up and down. Often the ups as well as the down moments arrive in an instant and take us unawares.

It’s the down moments that trip us up. They come with a mental and sometimes physical knock and we find ourselves wobbling. From extreme events to just inconvenient moments.

In these moments they are the hardest to control. Mainly because they catch us unawares and we don’t have time to process what is actually happening or what it might actually mean.

Learning the art of taking a deep breath and making it a routine is one that will prepare you for these moments. Training good habits can be a game changer.

A deep breath before any reaction or any sentence, stabilises us and gives ourselves time to see things more clearly. An instance chaotic thought response throws us into chaos.

So take time out each day to take a deep breath. You’re so busy, I understand, but like the car that overtakes you only for you to catch it up at the traffic lights, you do have time to stop for a few seconds and to breath. By making this a mantra to follow you will maintain your Conscious Control. You will slow your heart rate and you will be less likely to make poor decisions.

We can’t change the moments in our lives which cause us hardship, heartache or anxiety but we can diminish their control on us. How? Breathe it out then step forward.

29th September 2026

Sometimes we don’t ask ourselves or challenge ourselves about what we really want. Or what is right for us because this changes over the years.

In the start, ambition and our line of work is something we focus on as we often have no real considerations to consider. We have the energy and we have the time and work can be a priority, the priority for us.

As life progresses our choices do have an effect. We have families, health issues, travel opportunities and more. Life is so busy in our middle years that we are often juggling so many areas we get used to that as a normal.

Then life suddenly slows down a little. Children no longer need to be your focus, experience and maturity give a different perspective. We might start to explore new employment opportunities and often we have the confidence, experience and also conditioning to believe we are returning to work as we were when we first started out.

It is exciting when we get interviews for roles we’d have loved years earlier. Then suddenly that anxiety hits, out of nowhere. You can do it. Those feelings are normal.

There’s one question to ask though.

Do you want to? At this time in your life perhaps you do have a choice. Be brave enough to make it, choose you.

28th September 2026

Fundamentally frustration, what we perceive to be stressful and disappointment are all states of mind that can be described as being our enemy.

When they hit individually or collectively, they have the ability to weaken us to the point of being carefree with decisions. We are consciously deciding to self sabotage and in the moment it feels ok. It feels allowed because our strength of mind is weakened through negative emotional feelings.

We are able to loudly and deliberately make choices that we have worked so hard to push back on. So strong is this that it’s a tsunami that not only do we not ignore, we ride it like it’s the truth.

It’s only after when the waves return to our own normal that we ask ourselves why. Why in that moment was I so weak to throw caution to the wind and take an action that not only doesn’t help me. For me it’s wrong. It’s not want I want at all.

A firm resolve arrives and we vow never to allow it again. We may well get caught off guard again and repeat this but by trying to learn and remember, one day we will push back and not be tempted. That day will come but it’s a hard lesson to learn and takes being in control of your own thoughts and feelings.

But it can be done. In the meantime, be annoyed with yourself but also find forgiveness. You’re only human.

Okay I hear you say but it won’t happen again. Perhaps better to say, I don’t want it to happen again.

19^th September 2026

A beautiful house plant grew and flourished, never knowing that its legacy would go on and on. How? The owner took a cutting for her child, who in turn took a cutting for her child who in turn took cuttings for her children. Each main plant continued to thrive within the love of family connection. A commitment to nurture and ensure each plants survival.

One day cuttings were taken at the same time, roots encouraged and placed into individual pots. As time passed the three plants stood side by side in the same soil in their own space. They shared the same light source, were fed the same plant food and drank the same water.

Yet the day arrived where all three had strong leaves and looked healthy however the difference in size was suddenly apparent. Why?

Well I don’t have a reason, but I do know they each have their place. They are individually beautiful and unique. Just as we are.

Often no matter how we attempt to do the same as others, our outcomes are different. Not worse. Not less. Not wrong. Just different.

Enjoy being you for who you are. If you’re conscious in your choices and you are consistent in your actions, you will nurture your own happiness habits. You are unique, embrace it.

18th September 2026

This is a tough journey. It all comes down in the end to how much do I want to achieve my goal. When I look at the reasons why I wouldn’t achieve my goal, such as a delicious eclair or bag of crisps, I know now that nothing I can eat will leave me feeling I made a good choice.

In 69 days (10 weeks, 2.5months) I have lost 24lbs and comfortably a dress size.

I feel happier. I feel healthier and I don’t hate the mirror or dread the camera in the way I did.

I am not there yet but boy do I want to be.

If I didn’t keep my WhatsApp diary every day and sometimes a few times, I would not be where I am this time.

I firmly believe the key to consistency and commitment is by routine and habit. Checking in makes me accountable. Not to a diary but to me. It is hard tho. It sounds easy but there’s nothing easy about it. Thing is though, that this reaffirms the choices I NEED to make by detailing the less appropriate choices I sometimes make. It makes me steer back onto the road I want to travel on and quickly.

The odd mistake is a good thing. I get to taste something I think I miss only to realise I really don’t.

So again, this is one heck of a journey. It’s challenging, frustrating and exhausting at times but it is worth it.

It is totally worth it.

15th September 2026

What does this title generally conjure up for you?

Traffic lights, stop, caution and go.

This sequence is critical on our roads and it’s critical for our safety.

We can also apply this to achieving our happiness goal. If you’re coupling up this goal with a food lifestyle change, then it could refer to food types. Those to avoid, those to eat with caution and those to eat and enjoy.

If we just want to be happy then perhaps their meaning is less focused but still appropriate to any journey.

Red to avoid actions, people or situations that will prompt stress, anxiety or sadness.

Amber to consider, it means to assess the risk factors of the action, person or situation. How will it affect you? How will you deal with something that turns out to be difficult?

Green says go for it. Every time no matter what your goal. Green should challenge, comfort, excite and be something that results in a smile. Green means happy.

It’s not always easy to get it right but by being conscious and honest in the moment will help you to get it right. Of course, if in doubt, sometimes it worth doing without. You will never be sure of what the outcome could have been, but you do your risk assessment and decide if it’s worth it. By consciously considering, even if it isn’t the outcome you wanted, you will cope with it differently because you will know you decided to give it a chance. YOU made the choice. You didn’t dive in, you assessed it and that’s ok.

So as life is a journey, make the traffic lights work for you to make consistently conscious choices.

17th September 2026

It’s as simple as that. It’s just tough negotiating life.

If like me you have decided to challenge yourself to learn a language and have delved into Duolingo, you will be aware of Falstaff. He’s a friendly brown bear who is bilingual. I know that as he appears in all languages.

One thing Falstaff continually points out which is amusing but it’s also thought provoking, is how humans make life hard for themselves.

As he point outs, as humans we will deliberate over what we want to eat. A bear just decides he’s hungry and his food naturally arrives in the form of meat, fish or berries. What appears, a bear eats. If it doesn’t appear he’s left wandering until it does but he never thinks he has a choice as to what he is going to eat. I have to say my husband is a rather lucky bear in that regard!

A bear doesn’t fret over where he’s spending his weekend or who he has to see to please. He just wanders in the wilderness, lies in the sunshine and lets his life unfold around him.

Of course as humans we aren’t able to take such a what will be approach to our days or we’d be in chaos and we outnumber bears considerably.

He does however have a point. Sometimes we can make life harder for ourselves. Maybe we can take a small leaf from Falstaff’s book and let life happen at times without so much thinking.

We will always need to plan, it’s who we are, but perhaps in second gear not in sixth. Slow it down. Take time out. Stop trying to please people who may not even want to be pleased.

Be a Falstaff sometimes. The world will still turn.

16th September 2026

How often in life do we want something so much that we convince ourselves we need it? To need it makes it so much easier to have it. Deep down we know we don’t need it. We know we just want it. Perhaps we don’t even want it really, we just think we want it.

If you’re confused, then maybe it’s because when we think we want something we put so much energy into finding a way to have it. Need is the easiest because it is a word that makes us feel we have done or are doing the right thing.

The problem with convincing ourselves we need it, especially with food, is that once we eat it we realise very quickly that we didn’t need it. This turns to guilty feelings and a sadness about our choice and an internal realisation that we were wrong.

Staying conscious about choice. Staying realistic about why. Staying real about what things are. This is how we take control and how we make sure that when we do have something we actually enjoy it.

Conscious Choice.

Conscious Decisions.

If you need to justify why you are doing something, perhaps don’t do it. Wait until you don’t need to battle with yourself.

If in doubt, say no.

14th September 2026

Today was a massive milestone in my recent journey. It’s day 65 and I have met my first milestone which was to lose 10kg and get to my weight when I got married in 2021. I’ve done it.

So now onto the next milestone to lose another 6kg however, let’s take a moment to revel in this success.

It’s a success for conscious choice. I harp on about it a lot but it has truly worked for me. I’ve spent 65 days consciously aware of my goal because this time I really wanted it. I’m not sure I doubted myself ever, I didn’t think about this. All I thought of was day by day. One day at a time.

Consistency. Commitment. Conscious.

Three words that are so important for making change happen. Sixty five days sounds a long time when you look forward but looking back it has been worth every deep breath. Every “no” to my naughty monkey who sits trying to lead me astray.

So today I got my clothes out of storage boxes. The joy of fitting into dresses that not only have been out of reach for a significant time - 4-5 years - but also clothes that hold many memories. To try them on and they properly fit, I felt like a winner. I am a winner.

So, if you are feeling sluggish, a bit yuck and you’ve given up parts of your wardrobe you loved, do as I have done. It’s hard, yes. It’s challenging, for sure. Is it worth it? It is.

I allowed myself the excuse that the menopause was controlling my weight. It doesn’t appear to be true. I was using it as an excuse. Never again and the journey continues.

If you can do it yourself, do it. You won’t regret all the aspects of your life it will improve. If you need help, call me. I want you to feel like I do.

12th September 2026

So, depending on how you organise your life, most of us choose a path and over time we continue along this path.  The odd break, from a holiday or a work or family change, but overall, our path is straightforward.    It remains steadfast because we haven’t had time to challenge ourselves and one day we wonder where did all that time go to?

These days though, more people are questioning their path and often later in life, after children have grown up or middle age just suddenly creeps up on us.  Sometimes this questioning results in strong and often life changing decisions only to discover it isn’t as rosy as we thought it would be.  In fact, some feel they would like to turn back the clock.

In truth, change is good, and if you want to redirect your path and trust in the detour you crave, it is important firstly to know who you are.  To see clearly and accept the outcome that understanding and challenging yourself brings.  Often, by exploring who you are, releasing past judgments, understanding emotions and accepting past decisions, you gain the tools you need to make the right plan.

Often what we have, is what we want.

Often what we have, is what we crave.

We don’t let ourselves acknowledge or even accept but we automatically assume we need to run away, reinvent ourselves, start over.

I am a firm believer in living life and if change is necessary, make it, do it.  I am also aware that we have a responsibility to ourselves and to those around us to be sure that we are right because many lives can be irrevocably changed by the decisions we make.

Find out who you are.

Find out what it is you want not what you think you want

 It takes huge courage to do this but unless you can be sure that you are in the driving seat, buckled up and with a plan, you might just find yourself alone, lost in a place where all you have is heavy baggage.

Often what we have, is what we want.

Often what we have, is what we crave.

11th September 2026

Things I wish my younger self had known:

The stresses of life are many and they can be complicated but they don't need to be controlling.

A brownie can be the softest most delicious to eat, but it tastes even better when it isn't eaten at the drop of a hat.

If I can be in control of my home, my children, my job,  I can be in control of my habits and my choices.

Food tastes even better when I make the time to make it myself.

There will be moments when life happens and you turn to a glass of wine, beer or the snacks and that is ok, but just you decide and lead it, don't let it lead you.   It may make life seems more bearable but it is for a short moment and is NOT the answer.  Over time the drinking and snacking will take you to a place physically that you don't want to be and that is hard to come back from.  Stay in control by staying present and real.

Enjoy happiness, chose happiness.  Life can't all be roses but you can choose how you respond to it.  Learn new ways to deal with crisis and practise them.   Being healthy and liking yourself even during hard times, will make you happy when the rest of your world seems grey.

Mostly I would tell myself,  you need to look after yourself in order to be the best person you can for those you love.  

I know!  This all seems very easy in hindsight for all of us.  If only this, if only that.  it has taken me a long time to work it out for myself, and it is never too late to learn happiness habits.  Grab any chance you get.

30 August 2026

So you decide to lose weight and give it your all, right? You choose a plan from the hundreds available and you are determined to succeed and you will as I have several times over, in my adult life.

Then comes that moment. You made a bad choice in a weak moment.

A moment where someone was given bad news, a colleague let you down, a friend tempted you, you were so tired, something caused you to panic, someone was mean or cruel whether intentionally or not. One moment where you lost your conscious control.

One moment won’t cost you your success BUT it could.

One unconscious moment leading to a conscious awareness could actually be hugely helpful to your journey. It can refocus us, reset us and increase our strength.

It can also cause an avalanche to derail us.

If we don’t move immediately into a conscious awareness of what happened, those little bad habit gremlins are right there. Like a little army, waiting to march out and take over. Reducing your strength, undoing your reset and turning your focus in another direction.

Then your brain will start to tell you that it’s fine. It’s your life. It doesn’t have to be miserable. Eat what you enjoy and to heck with it. And often we do.

If it’s true tho, why do we always come back to feeling sad?

Next time this happens, we need to remember that army of habit gremlins are not on our side. They are not our friends and they don’t lead us to feeling happy. Quite the opposite.

Happiness is having control of ourselves. Feeling good about how we look and feel. Not for others, for us. Whatever our scales say that makes us happy, is right for each of us.

This can only be achieved by being consciously aware of what we want, being consistent in making that happen and having support for the times that the cracks do appear because those habits gremlins are waiting. 😉

31 August 2026

A young person, no older than eleven played in a Saturday morning game of football for their local team. They were a good little player with great potential.

On this particular day it had been very wet, and the pitch conditions were not conducive to keeping a grip. Within moments, they’d scored a goal and were a hero. Then a teammate scored. Two ahead and half the pitch side followers were cheering, the other half trying to.

Then our player slipped, made a quick but bad move and the ball ended up in the oppositions goal. The air went quiet for a millisecond before groans could be heard and the other team cheered.

For our little player, in that moment which was part mistake and park bad luck given the pitch conditions, their world became dark and tears followed.

The match ended and they were consoled by parents, teammates and the coach.

But…..hang on. Their team won. 2-1 and they’d actually scored 3 goals but automatically the focus had been on the unexpected home goal.

So often in life we win but we still chose to place a knock back before the good truth. That little player was a star. They put their heart and soul into that match and their team won. They were winners. The home goal wasn’t relevant.

So next time you make a wrong food choice but the scales stay the same or you do lose just not as much as you wanted, cheer yourself because you are a winner. You just learned you can make wrong choices but if overall you’re on it, they don’t matter in the long game.

Half full. Every time.

1st September 2026

We all have stages of our life where we want to lose weight. Feel that we look better, choose clothes we love with ease.

Often, we do just that. We even stick to it. Reach our goal. Dance about being proud and light and happy. It’s a special feeling to look in the mirror and like what you see.

It’s a sad, demoralising feeling when you don’t like what you see. It’s heartbreaking if you were to think deeply.

The actions needed to achieve that are big. There’s no hiding place or sugar coating it. It takes determination, effort and dedication to YOUR cause.

It takes conscious decision making and it takes the support of weight loss groups and sometimes medicines to help us and that is fine. It’s more than fine. It’s good.

It takes even more though. It takes a friend. Not one you already have but someone who understands. Who is willing to be there when the low moment hits and shout it to the rooftop when you’re winning. Who can be fair and caring but firm and honest.

That’s why I started Beyond the Scales. For people like me, who take the help available but need something more to support their journey.

3rd September 2026

If you’re at all empathic, which I will assume you are or you’re unlikely to be reading this, you’ll understand how difficult it is sometimes to stay in your zone with others around you.

“Just one won’t hurt.”

“Just a bite.”

“As long as you don’t make it a habit.”

“Oh but it’s so good you have to try it.”

“I can’t believe you don’t want to see how good this is.”

“Go on, I won’t tell anyone.”

If like me you have heard them all and more, you’ll know how your brain begins to be influenced. It’s not just the temptation; it’s also about pleasing the person speaking to you.

Remember though, that their reasons may not be and are likely NOT to be, about what is best for you. They may gain from your actions:

• Maybe they are a seller.
• Maybe they made them for an event for you.
• Maybe they don’t feel they should eat it and it makes them feel better if you do too.

Maybe it’s within your workplace. A birthday. A happy it’s Friday. Cakes and biscuits arrive and everyone is happy and scoffing away 😉 and they beckon you on to join in. If this is something you know will happen, why not take a tub of carrot batons already prepared for you with a hummus and put that to share. Who cares if only you eat it, it keeps the sugar at bay, but you are still taking part. Maybe watch how many others choose your offering, you could be surprised.

Dinners out? Of course you can go. Just go consciously. Read the menu and don’t be afraid to add or subtract items. If they are on the menu likelihood, is they will mix and match for you. Dessert looks so good, ask to try your partner or friend dish with a teaspoon and be amazed when it really is enough because your head is taking control of your actions with the benefit that you’re not sitting there drooling.

You can survive others if YOU choose to.

This path we call Beyond The Scales, is about constant, consistent, conscious choice.

Under your control.

All the fives

CONTROL

Constant, Consistent, Conscious, Choice

4th September 2026

The thing about food is that it often tastes good.  That’s a fact.

I guess a smoker says I like how it makes me feel or I like the taste.  A drinker likes the taste, and the social relaxed state alcohol creates.  So, we get into bad habits and low-level addiction.

In the end though, these things can affect our physical health noticeably and our mental health while our brains adapt to support our poor choices.

There will never be a good time or a good head space to make change, it must be made consciously in any moment and then stuck too.

Once we accept that as a truth, and decide that we want change, then we stand a chance but doing it alone can be a tough thing to do.

What I can say, is that once you see the changes in how you feel, happier, more content, calmer and fitter, your resolve will grow and you will take control of your emotions, choices and fears. Then, no matter what happens in your life, you will be in charge of your own mind and body.

I believe that I have a way that many will relate too and given commitment and time, that control will be firmly in place and the happiness habit will be one you won’t give up easily, if at all.

5th September 2026

Being number one in your life is really an alien concept to many of us and most that don't manage to do that, fall into the wife and mother category, and this can be extended to wife, daughter and mother as time goes by.

We are so busy making life happen for others.  I have been told numerous times over the years that, look after yourself and it will make the rest easier.  I am not sure I listened, or believed or took any notice.

They say that until we love ourselves, we aren't really capable of loving others.  

It was only recently, and after a few years of recognising the menopause was happening, that I looked at the change in myself.  The weight had increased, the dress size had increased, the amount of treats had become a normal shopping item and I finally thought, is that really me?

So at first, I avoided the mirror, the camera if I could and if I couldn't the total feeling of shame, sadness and disbelief made me feel awful when I did see a photo.  

So that one day, when it was too much, I didn't reach for the bag of crisps.  Instead I made a conscious decision to change.  I made a decision to look back on myself on July 1st 2027, and see where I had got too.  I inwardly challenged myself.  No discussions with others, no-one reassuring me I was beautiful as I  was, not outward noise at all. 

I spoke to myself and I decided it was time to take control.  And I did, and I continue to do so.

Over the past few weeks, I have discovered that it takes sheer determination to stay on track, it takes not accepting excuses.  During my birthday week, I celebrated more than ever and I still lost 2.5lbs in weight.  I was surprised but I also know I was so focused on all my choices.

Taking control, means exactly that.  It means conscious, committed, calculated, consistent choices every day. No excuses.

By doing so, this has empowered me, it's allowed me to be in charge of myself in a way I haven't been for as long as I can remember.  If ever.  It has built my confidence, it has made me capable of saying no, and not just to food.   I have become a priority in my own life and it doesn't feel like I am neglecting any other areas of my life.  

I have discovered that by taking control of my food choices, I have become stronger, healthier and my energy levels are higher than they have been in a long time.   I feel happy and that is a nice feeling and one I am not about to let go.

6th September 2026

The metaphoric carrot can require a degree of soft consideration in this topic. How gentle could you be with yourself and still reap the rewards you crave.

Perhaps some great reward once your target was reached might work. A spa day? It would be something to aim for certainly and could be the focus at the end of a challenging journey.

Perhaps a trip, or some material reward such as a dress? For some this could keep them on track if they view the reward as great enough for the journey taken.

The metaphorical stick would seem to be too harsh. It would require a certain level of meanness which isn’t conducive to the life change you’re looking to achieve. It symbolises a level of aggression to keep on track but there’s not many of us that would find this manageable for a long period of time which invariably this journey is.

The truth is, it’s one day when suddenly you want to make it happen. Set a reward but I believe as you stick to your guns, stick to your plans, commit to your dream, it will become harder then easier. As time passes your good habits will grow and they will suffocate those bad habits that lurked before.

Your choices will become easier. You will suddenly realise that you have a new lifestyle and you like it. Your spa day will not be a reward but a luxury trip where you feel a million dollars and strut your stuff.

So whatever works for you initially is important but with success comes a new outlook on life and a new level of happy. Being in control of yourself through conscious choice opens doors you never dreamed of. It’s not an easy destination but for those who make it, it’s life changing.

You can do it. If you decide too.

7th September 2026

We arrive into this world as a wish, dream, surprise that belongs to our parents. We are a product of a decision made by others. Why is that relevant?

Well, we start with a blank canvas and we hope our start in life during childhood will set us up to be the successful loving thoughtful adults we can be. Life, however, can get in the way as our parents had no instruction book and came with their own learnings and experiences.

We arrive at the door into adulthood and most likely we have baggage that we continue to carry. Hopefully good but sometimes, we carry a heavier load.

Regardless, it is possible to write your own future supported by your own choices. It is your life to make of it what YOU will.

How?

It takes an idea, add in the desire and look for the support, and then it’s possible to start creating and making what you want to happen.

Those are the key ingredients. After that you need commitment, consistency and patience. Day after day even when it’s hard, especially when it feels hard.

Most importantly of all, you need to make conscious choices every day. We aren’t saints, we will make mistakes but they need to be few because being conscious means being alert. Being aware. Being present for yourself

You can do anything you want to do. Anything at all, if you have the ingredients, you follow the method and you stay alert.

8th September 2026

Exactly that. When you embark on a weight loss goal, you are in fact starting a journey of learning.

It’s not so easy as to step on the scales after “being good” and come away smiling each time. Even when you have been good, they may not move up or down for so many reasons.

◦ Good choice

◦ Muscle toning

◦ Exercise

◦ Water levels

◦ Cortisol levels                                         and so on.

It’s a package deal won through educating ourselves and that interest grows as your success grows. Mostly you become inquisitive as to how to strengthen the progress you have made because this time, putting the weight back on is something unthinkable.

In truth, it has been every time but somehow, we became complacent or had blind faith in ourselves. This is it. We did it, now go enjoy.

That is exactly how it should be but once again it must be enjoyed through constant choice, consideration, consistency and commitment.

Never again will you be unaware of your actions and decisions because if you do, consequences appear and they can be cleverly gradual until you think, what? How did that happen? Suddenly, but hopefully you are not back where you were, you have work to do again, if you can be bothered.

So, this time it has to be the lifestyle change that’s spoken of so often.

How can you manage that? By learning what works for you.

By being supported in the background. By keeping your message journal / diary every day on some form knowing that in the background when life throws you a curve ball, you have someone there waiting who will be honest with you.

Beyond The Scales is a real support programme to help you attain your goal and then help you stay there. If that is what you want.

9th September 2026